Two friends, pro basketball players on the road, share a hotel room. They talk about different things. And one starts bragging about how he’s been cheating on his fiancée. But little did he know that the other one somehow decided to record a video of the boasting.
Then it happens. The recording mysteriously finds its way to the Internet for everyone to see. And the infidelity becomes public knowledge. The one who cheated on his fiancée is exposed.
What is the response? The fellow members of the basketball team are offended. But, surprisingly, not with the “cheater” but with the one who recorded the conversation. How could he do such a thing? His relationship with the rest of the team is severely strained. How can they trust him?
Even the media coverage of the incident seems to follow the same theme. A team member has broken the trust of his teammates. His actions were deplorable. And perhaps they were. For something was shared in confidence. And he betrayed that confidence. Not only that, he humiliated his friend and compromised the integrity of the team.
But in all of these, there is one particular matter that most seem to overlook. With all the talk about trust, what about the violation of trust against the fiancée? In a talk show, one person dared to raise the issue and the others shut her down, dismissing her concern.
The matter isn’t really about who was right or wrong. For both men did betray a trust. Yet it is well worth asking, “What kind of trustworthiness do I seek from others? Will it be the kind that will do anything to protect my own desires and interests—even if these are wrong? Or will it be the kind that will do everything to protect what is best for me—even if it means jeopardizing our friendship?”
“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses” (Proverbs 27:5–6 NIV). Put another way: “Better open reproof than feigned love. Trustworthy are blows from a friend, deceitful are kisses from a foe” (Proverbs 27.5–6 NJB). Someone who is truly looking out for my well-being will not just sit back and watch me continue in a path that is destructive—to self or to others. But neither would a genuine friend simply expose my wrongdoing and publicly humiliate me. He or she will at least try to motivate or help me to engage in corrective measures. And that friend may even be willing to place oneself in a situation that may be inconvenient or harmful to self. Just like Jesus, who called us out regarding our sin and then took upon himself the burden of that same sin that we may be forgiven and restored.
That is a friend worth trusting.
—Keith Y. Jainga